What’s Wrong With Me? How to Support Yourself When Everything is Going Wrong

You probably stumbled on this post because you’re constantly asking yourself, “What’s wrong with me?”. I’m here to tell you that there is nothing wrong with you.

Wait. Let me explain.

You are creative, resourceful, and whole. BUT it doesn’t always feel that way. It doesn’t always feel that way for me either. But there is nothing wrong with either of us.

Sometimes we just need an extra boost of comfort, support, energy, or just someone to tell us that what we’re feeling isn’t wrong or bad.

What you’re feeling isn’t wrong or bad. I repeat, what you’re feeling is NOT wrong or bad.

Other than words of support, I do have some concrete things that you can do to support yourself when you feel like everything is going wrong.

These resources range from supportive websites to crisis lines (including the one that I work for). Take a look at them and pick out the ones that you think would work best for you.

(By the way – the vast majority of these resources are absolutely free. If you’d like more free mental health resources – click here).

Supportive Websites

You Feel Like Sh*t

I love this website because 1) it is free and 2) it takes you step by step to help you figure out what may be making you feel upset or depressed. Some of the steps include taking a nap if you’re sleep deprived or drinking a glass of water if you’re dehydrated. If you’re interested in other websites that can help you with feeling calmer or better, check these out.

211

You’ve probably heard about 211 before. 211 is a website that allows you to search online, chat, or speak on the phone with a specialist that will listen to you and help you find resources specific to your area. Whether you need help with food, housing, or a crisis situation, 211 can be there for you.

Coping Skills

Grounding Technique

The grounding technique is a way for you to connect with yourself and the here and now. My favorite way is to use the 5 senses but the grounding technique can be done in a multitude of ways.

  • Name 5 things that you can see
  • Name 4 things that you can touch
  • Name 3 things that you can hear
  • Name 2 things that you can smell (or two scents you like)
  • Name 1 thing you can taste (or one thing you like about yourself).

You can also try grounding by giving a detailed account of your surroundings or making a list of types of things (red fruits, green vegetables, dogs, etc). 

Journaling

Journaling is something that you can do anytime and anywhere you are. Journaling can help you get your feelings and thoughts out without having to tell anyone else if you’re not ready to. If you’d like to start a journaling habit, check out this post. I also have journaling prompts for self-discovery and for mental health.

Square Breathing

This technique (also called Box Breathing) helps you to be more aware of your body and your breathing.

Breathe in for 4 seconds

  • Breath in for 4 seconds
  • Hold for 4 seconds
  • Breath out for 4 seconds
  • Hold for 4 seconds

Visualization/Meditation

Visualization and meditation can be done separately or together. For visualization, you can think of yourself in your favorite place and really visualize what it would be like to actually be there. For example, if your favorite place is the beach, think of the waves crashing on the shore, the sun on your skin, and the smell of the ocean.

For meditation, many people like to listen to meditation videos or guides through YouTube or apps like Headspace (see the apps section below). If you’re looking for some websites that can help with meditation or visualization, click here.

Listen to Inspiring Music

Listening to music is one of my favorite ways to feel better when I’m having a bad day. I have different playlists for different moods that I might be in. If you’re looking for a good playlist of inspiring music – check out this post and the accompanying linked playlist.

Supportive People/Groups

Therapy

Therapy or counseling has helped thousands of people (I’m one of them). In therapy, you are able to talk about the things that are most important to you whether that be something from your past that you feel is holding you back or a mental illness that is keeping you from being the person that you want to be.

A key part of therapy is finding a therapist that you can connect with. Check out this post where I link over 25 different directories that will help you find a therapist that you feel would best be able to support you and your unique situation.

Life Coaching

As with therapy, life coaching has also helped thousands of people (me included). When you are thinking about life coaching, you first want to think about if there are goals that you want to accomplish.

Simply put, a life coach is there support you in your goal-seeking, such as creating a self-care practice, as I do in my coaching business (more info here), becoming an executive-level employee, or getting better with your money. There are a few places that you can find a life coach such as Noomii.

Call/Text A Friend or Family Member

Calling or texting a friend or family member seems so simple, but often when we’re thinking about all of the things that are wrong, we forgot the simple things that can make us feel better and the people who love us. When you’re feeling depressed or upset, text or call a family member. You don’t have to tell them everything that is wrong if you’re not ready, but just seeing that you have that connection with other people can make a difference.

Healing Circle

I’ve heard about healing circles (also sometimes called sister circles) for a few years now but never really knew what they were. I had the privilege of starting my participation in a healing circle in the past month and it was an incredible experience. In a healing circle, there is no judgment and no advice (unless specifically asked for).

You are able to bare your soul as you see fit and seek the comfort of knowing that there are others who are hearing you. I found my healing circle through Facebook but you can often find them advertised through Instagram, yoga studios, or wellness centers.

Support Groups

Support groups are similar to healing circles, in that you have a group of people that are coming together to support each other. Support groups can be found for any type of situation that you may find yourself in, from experiencing depression or eating disorders, and everything in between. Many support groups may also meet online through chat rooms or video conferencing. Here are a few places you can find support groups:

National Alliance on Mental Illness

211

National Eating Disorders Association

Psychology Today

Supportive Apps

SuperBetter

SuperBetter is an app that allows you to turn your real-life into a “game”. Superbetter allows you to (according to the website) “achieve goals and tackle challenges including anxiety, depression, chronic pain, concussion recovery and more,”. The Original SuperBetter app is absolutely free and if the apps don’t work for you (IOS, ANDRIOD), you can also try the website.

My Affirmations

In My Affirmations, you can set up affirmations in multiple categories including health, success, happiness, and creativity. There are already affirmations that are provided for you if you’d like to get started right away or you can add your own affirmations to the categories. You can also have the affirmations play with relaxing music and pictures OR have them pop up periodically as a notification on your phone. This app is only available on ANDRIOD devices but here is a similar one for IOS called ThinkUp.

MindShift

MindShift is an app that I’ve been using for over a year. It helps with reframing your thinking around situations that you may encounter that cause you to feel anxious or have negative thoughts. It also provides psycho-education and general information about anxiety and thinking patterns. Here it is for IOS and ANDRIOD.

Headspace

Headspace is a meditation and mindfulness app that helps you to learn how to incorporate meditation and mindfulness into your everyday life. It has thousands of meditations and mindfulness exercises to help with a variety of issues such as anxiety, insomnia, and focus. There is a basic free account but to access everything, you’ll need a paid subscription that comes at a few different price points, including a special price just for students. You can find Headspace here.

Crisis Hotlines

Crisis Text Line

Crisis Text Line (this is where I work!) is a 24/7 crisis line via text message and Facebook Messenger. If you don’t feel like talking on the phone or you want more privacy than talking on the phone provides, text “HELLO” to 741741 and you’ll be connected with a trained Crisis Counselor.

Canada – text HOME to 686868

United Kingdom – text HOME to 85258

This service is absolutely free. Your standard text rates may apply.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline has both a crisis hotline through the phone and through an online chat. Their phone number is 1-800-273-8255 and you can access their chat services through their website. Both services are free and run 24/7 (US only).

Trevor Project

The Trevor Project is specifically for those in the LGBTQI community and has a ton of resources including a phone line (1-866-488-7386), an online crisis chat, text services (text START to 678678), and online forums for connecting with other people in the community. All services are available 24/7.

IMAlive

This crisis line is completely through online chat. So if you feel more comfortable using a computer than texting or talking on the phone, this is the one for you. You’ll connect with a trained crisis counselor and it is available 24/7.

I hope that you found these resources helpful. It is absolutely normal to not feel happy or positive all of the time. The next time you’re wondering, “I need help” or “I don’t know what’s wrong with me”, think of this blog post and the resources that it provides. There are people, websites, and other services out there to support you. You’ve got this.

Briana Hollis is a licensed social worker and self-care coach. She earned her Master of Science in Social Administration from Case Western Reserve University in 2014 and her Master of Education from Tiffin University in 2019. She has spent the last 5 years working in crisis intervention.  Her passion for serving others is the heart of this site. She started Learning To Be Free to assist others in bringing freedom to their lives.

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